Zolpidem gives you ZZZs (plus the occasional purple octopus)

Zolpidem is better known by its non-generic name: Ambien. And it is magic. Sweet, sweet, dream inducing magic. Now before I start sounding like a druggie (which I totally am not, really. I don't even like pot. But it's fine if you do. No judging) let me tell you the story of how I discovered the magic of zolpidem...

I got pregnant when I was 23. (on purpose) And because I was a young, first-time, paranoid prego, I refused to stay on any of my anxiety meds. I didn't even eat sushi for a whole 2 trimesters (sushi should be categorized as a drug, it's sooooo addictive). But my anxiety-addled brain was not a fan and I got really anxious, depressed, and near suicidal. The anxious thoughts kept me up at night. Not sleeping increased the anxious thoughts. And it just spiraled until I finally agreed to take something to help me relax and sleep: zolpidem. And, like I said, it was magic. It let me sleep while my sweet daughter practiced headers with my bladder. It soothed my mind when I was afraid her never-ending hiccups might somehow damage her (or me!). It gave me a reliable one night of full to excessive sleep a week. And therefore I survived pregnancy, and I even relaxed enough to have sex while pregnant a couple times (that was a big deal, since I was the opposite of so many women and was way to anxious to be horny while knocked up, which pissed me off, but not as much as it disappointed my husband).

So zolpidem saved my sanity for that last horrible trimester. It also introduced me to some trippy times, because, as I discovered, waking dreams happen sometimes on zolpidem. Usually in the form of dream characters floating above my bed in a not-quite-like-tv, not-quite-like-real-life, semi-interactive state. The first few were the most memorable, the octopus was the first, and kind of weirded me out, but my favorite was when the pirates were totally cheering on our... bed business. Nothing like a little hallucination to really turn up the heat. heh. (ok, at this point I think my dad is really regretting reading my blog. sorry, Dad.)

Zolpidem helped me get through a second pregnancy and now is just another tool in the arsenal of things that help me cope with (or escape from) extreme anxiety or panic attacks. (and I'm careful not to get hooked, blah, blah, blah. only use it rarely, blah, blah, so shut up, no judging, remember?)

That's how I'm going to put this little A to Z challenge to bed (so to speak). It's been a fun ride and very challenging  Stick around for the A to Z swearing challenge next month, which will be a lot sillier. Untill then goodnight. ZZZZZzzzzzzz.... (haha just kidding, I still have to finish dinner, do the dishes, put the kids to bed, do laundry, and watch Bones with my husband, but after that! Sleep!)