I'm going Bingle-Bongle

Blogging is harder than I remembered. Am I forgetting how to interact with real people? How to write for an audience? Is it the shift from third to first person? Or am I just more insecure about it because it's been so long? Maybe all of the above.

I spend most days working on my book(s). In the Teammates series, I have four major "point of view" characters: Michelle, Fitz, Dawn, and Tessa. At this point, I know them so well that writing with them is like playing with my imaginary friends. I get pretty deep into these characters. Some days I'm just really feeling them, like, too much. When that happens my kids say, "Mom's gone bingle-bongle again."

I remember once, a few months ago, when I was deep into writing book 2, I had spent a long day writing and was very much in my head. While I was making dinner I was thinking about what I'd written and what it was leading to, and I started getting all worked up. My nine-year-old daughter Dani asks, "Mom, what's wrong?" And I'm like, close to tears, "Tessa's had a really hard day." Then Dani rolls her eyes and walks away. Bingle-bongle.

Do all authors that their characters to heart this much? If so George R. R. Martin is one fucked up dude. Ha!

Going bingle-bongle can have its advantages. I think some of the best parts were written when I was in full crazy mode. But the disadvantage is that it can sometimes be hard to find myself afterward. How many times have I said to my husband, "oh, fuck, sorry, I'm just feeling a little Michelle still I guess."

Blogging is like the ass-opposite of fiction writing. I have to be so... me. And that means I also have to take ownership of my words in a different way. That's an adjustment. I have major respect for the memoir writers out there. That shit takes guts. If you write about somebody real, whether it's yourself or somebody else in your life, the feedback you get from readers has to be on a whole different level. I love getting feedback on my characters (most of the time). I mean, I do feel a little conceited when people say "I love Michelle" and I'm like "I know, right?" but when people say "I really hate Tom" I feel no qualms about agreeing whole-heartedly. How crazy different that all would be if those people were real! *mind blown*


PS: Ten points to anybody who knows where "bingle-bongle" comes from.